It’s not. This sugarbomb will give you a tummy ache and make your teeth fall out. It’s awesome.
Whose birthday was it? Mine! Yeah, I made my own birthday cake. Whatever. I make awesome cakes.
So, I brought this cake into the office and gave everyone a crippling sugar high. My boss said, “Steph, if you ever make that cake again, I will sue you.” I was flattered.
Shout out to our awesome photographer Matthew who took the main photo. So pretty. Swoon.
Man Rating: Oh god. I can’t feel my left side.
BIRTHDAY CAKE CRUMBS 1/2 cup granulated sugar 1 1/2 tbsp light brown sugar 3/4 cup cake and pastry flour 1/2 tsp baking powder 1/2 tsp kosher salt 2 tbsp rainbow sprinkles 1/4 cup grapeseed oil 1 tbsp clear vanilla extrac
In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, combine the sugars, flour, baking powder, salt, and sprinkles. Mix on low speed until well combined.
Add the oil and vanilla. Continue beating until the ingredients clump and form small clusters.
Spread the crumbs in a thin layer on the prepared baking sheet and bake for 20 minutes. Cool completely.
BIRTHDAY CAKE 4 tbsp unsalted butter, room temperature 1/3 cup vegetable shortening 1 1/4 cups granulated sugar 3 tbsp light brown sugar 3 large eggs 1/2 cup buttermilk 1/3 cup grapeseed oil 2 tsp clear vanilla extract 2 cups cake flour 1 1/2 tsp baking powder 3/4 tsp kosher salt 1/4 cup rainbow sprinkles 2 tbsp rainbow sprinkles
Preheat the oven to 350°F.Spray a quarter sheet pan with Pam and cover with a sheet of parchment. Set aside.
In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream together the butter, shortening, and sugars on medium-high for 2 to 3 minutes, scraping down the bowl as needed.Add the eggs and beat on medium-high for another 2 to 3 minutes. Scrape down the bowl.
Add the buttermilk, grapeseed oil, and vanilla. Beat for another 4 to 6 minutes. The mixture will double in size and appear light and fluffy. There will be no trace of oil left.
With the mixer on low, add the flour, baking powder, salt, and 1/4 cup of sprinkles and mix for another minute until the ingredients are all combined.
Pour the batter into the prepared sheet pan, spreading it out into an even layer. Sprinkle with the remaining rainbow sprinkles.
Bake for 30–35 minutes until the cake bounces back slightly when gently pressed in the corner. Cool completely.
In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream the butter, shortening, and the cream cheese for 2 to 3 minutes on medium-high until the mixture is smooth and fluffy. Scrape down the bowl.
Add the glucose, corn syrup, and vanilla, and beat the mixture on medium-high again, for 2 to 3 minutes until smooth and glossy. Scrape down the bowl.
Add the dry ingredients and incorporate them on low speed. Increase the mixer speed to medium–high and beat the frosting until it is creamy and fluffy.
ASSEMBLE THAT BITCH 2 strips of acetate, each 3 inches wide and 20 inches long 1 6-inch cake ring, 3 inches high
Using your cake ring, stamp out 2 circles from the cake. These are the two top layers of the cake. The remaining cake “scrap” will come together to make the bottom layer.Place the cake ring on a baking sheet lined with parchment. Use one strip of the acetate to line the inside of the cake ring.
Put the cake scraps in the ring and use the back of your hand to tamp the scraps together into a flat even layer.
Use a pastry brush to bathe the layer with half the birthday cake soak.
Use the back of a spoon to spread one-fifth of the frosting in an even layer over the cake. Sprinkle with one-third of the birthday cake crumbs, pressing them gently into the frosting. Top with another one-fifth of the frosting.
Set a cake round on top of the frosting and repeat the processes for layer one. Put the second strip of acetate between the cake ring and the first acetate strip. Top with the last cake round and spread the remaining frosting. Top with the remaining cake crumbs.
Put that sucker in the freezer for 12 hours.Take the cake out of the freezer. Gently push the cake through the ring and pull off the acetate.
Let the cake defrost in the fridge 3 hours before serving. It can stay in the fridge, wrapped in plastic wrap, for up to five days.